The Year of Karma
KARMIC ENTANGLEMENT
In the occult science of numerology, eight represents the number of karma, power and cycles of cause and effect as it relates to the balance in the spiritual and materialistic worlds. The beginning of 2024 was filled with optimism and hopes of positive returns on the cause and effect of karma in my personal and professional life, while the end of year reality ultimately provided an uncomfortably forced introspection into my own deep-seeded karmic patterns, soul contracts and subsequent karmic entanglements.
Within my personal numerology profile, my life path reflects the master number 11 which coincidentally enough symbolizes the bridging connection between the spiritual and physical realms. And to add further symbolism and synchronicity to the equation, this particular year of karma holds even greater spiritual importance as it so eloquently delivered heavy karmic themes from eleven years prior, taking us back on a traumatic journey to the summer of 2013 which nearly killed me.
But alas, I am here to tell the tale.
While the fateful summer of 2013 was a whirlwind of destruction, chaos and traumatic wounds, I have chosen over the years to positively reframe these memories into humorous experiences that ultimately shifted the trajectory of my life into an eventual spiritual awakening with the ability to heal and mentor others through my profound life experiences. But as fate would have it, the year of karma had other plans for me to release the hold I so fondly had of these past memories and ill-fated connections and teach me unequivocally, once and for all that…
THE PAST STAYS IN THE PAST.
They say curiosity killed the cat. But is it better to die knowing the truth than be fooled by illusions and manipulation, or reject the adventures of life to maintain ignorance and bliss? The year of karma peaked my curiosity when my brain, heart and entire emotional being knew better than to get involved once again with someone who I can only describe as the most toxic, vile soul I’ve ever met. My complete disregard to sensibility went out the window at the sheer curiosity of how this man was still alive and why he so eagerly wanted to see me and reconnect after eleven years. And while I have now learned that the past is to stay in the past, and for good reason, my displaced curiosity was needed in order to finally heal a deep-seeded karmic lesson and break the energetic karmic ties to this vile human being once and for all.
So without further adieu, join me on a traumatically nostalgic journey back to the summer of 2013 when I first moved to this unpredictable island of magic, mystery and ill-fated karma, as I begin to introduce two main characters who played pivotal roles in my inevitable spiral into the vortex of doom.
Before I could even unpack my bags, or let alone walk through the door of fate, I found myself confronted by what can only be described as a divinely orchestrated and destined connection, immediately provoking intrigue and a mutual unspoken passion for one another, instantaneously setting the stage for an unforgettable summer adventure.
His name was Collin. And I was in love.
Over the course of the following months, I had quickly fallen into his tumultuous spell and became lost in a whirlwind of addiction, riding the rollercoaster of emotional abuse leading to desperation and eventually survival mode while finding myself in unfamiliar European territory with little to no resources. Feeling lost and helpless, I found myself consistently digging a bigger hole with every delusional and desperate choice I made in attempts to save myself from the destruction I was creating in every direction of my life. In the darkest depths of chaos, where I felt I had reached my own personal manifestation of hell, an unexpected twist of fate brought a glimmer of hope to resurrect my spirit and save me from my own demise.
Emerging from the shadows of my local bar, a seemingly unsuspecting Italian man approached me, perceptive of the questionably dangerous situation I had found myself entangled in. In a less than strategic rescue mission, I deceptively bought into the false hope of a safe escape from the dark abyss I had fallen into only to be pulled deeper into my own living nightmare.
His name was Paolo. And I was officially in hell.
With plans to escape to Paolo’s family home in Italy, we began to leave a trail of destruction behind us, spiraling deeper into addiction. The days bled into one another, consumed by endless drug-fueled parties and an unrelenting cycle of missed flights. By the time we finally touched down in Italy, my entire bank account had been completely drained, and I was left with nothing - no access to a single penny as our hotel neglectfully billed my card when they were suppose to have charged Paolo’s family instead. What little cash I had on me very quickly diminished as Paolo relentlessly pressured me to fund our reckless lifestyle, all while assuring me that his wealthy family would reimburse me once we arrived.
Much to no one’s surprise, I had been Tinder Swindled.
Once in Italy, with access to his family’s resources and social connections, I was quickly cast aside as some kind of burden and embarrassment, revealing his true underlying motives - manipulating me to feed his own addictions and desperation. His compulsive lies reinforced the narrative of his master manipulation, which became glaringly obvious as his friends and family were blatantly judging my mere presence, portraying me as the problematic individual in the equation. With no other choice but to accompany him and his fellow addict friends around Milan, I was continuously exposed to dangerous situations, leaving me incredibly vulnerable yet somehow emotionally numb. The sheer recklessness of entitled, drug-addicted trust fund babies who had lost the will to live was one of the most frightening experiences of my life, as they had absolutely no respect for anyone else’s life and operated with free rein, terrorizing the city without consequence.
After intentionally uprooting me from Ibiza to drag me to Milan under the guise of detoxing and reevaluating our lives, my burdensome presence had became too overwhelming for the Italian heir within the span of a week and I was told I needed to leave immediately. Mind you, this was after my bank account had been completely wiped, I had no access to any cash and his family had no intentions of reimbursing me a penny due to the flagrant lies he wove into his own delusional reality.
Recovering from the devastation of that summer took nearly two years, as I slowly rebuilt my life, drawing on every ounce of resilience and determination I had, until I finally found my way to a place of healing and strength.
THE ILL-FATED REUNION
Maintaining the ideology that everything happens for a reason, once we heal karmic cycles, break soul contracts and untangle our karmic entanglements, the universe will remove people from our matrix reality as they no longer serve a role in our personal simulation. But, as is often the case, the universe has a way of testing us to see if we’ve truly embodied the lessons we were meant to learn.
And in the year of karma, it all came full circle.
With my understanding of how the universe puppeteers these karmic encounters, I allowed curiosity to get the best of me when Paolo reappeared in my simulation under the seemingly innocent guise of some kind of unfinished business. This encounter was far from innocent and held deep seeded karmic lessons that were in fact, unfinished.
As I mentioned, my unquenchable curiosity of his resilient ability to evade an overdose or otherwise fatal encounter had gotten the best of me as life had become a bit dormant and uneventful. To stay on brand and bring this story full circle, we agreed to meet at the bar where it all began eleven years prior. As I walked through the door and saw my beloved barman and island father, I asked him…
“Do you remember the guy I ran away to Italy with?”
How could a father forget? He watched us intently as our reunion unfolded, ready to fiercely protect his golden child if history began to repeat itself. However, much to my surprise, Paolo appeared to be a changed man. Key word - ‘appeared’.
After our fated encounter during the summer of 2013, Paolo later went on to meet his current wife, consult and invest in international business projects and jet-set from Dubai to the Balearic Islands between his global residences after inheriting his family’s esteemed estate. With his questionably displaced affinity towards our past memories together, I was just as confused as you leaving me with assumptions that his behavior eventually became redeemable with a newfound sense of responsibility and demure. Due to my own personal triumphs and self-development from years of destructive behavior, I gave Paolo the benefit of the doubt that he too may have fought his own demons to overcame his dark addictions.
Seemingly eager to help me as he oddly idolized us as some kind of modern day, Ibizan Bonnie and Clyde kindred duo, he quickly began to introduce me to his business partners and offered me job with promises of a work visa, which I desperately needed at the time. A bit skeptical of his offers, but also knowledgable of the karmic overtones of 2024, I decided to follow him down the rabbit hole with hopes of balancing out the scales of justice from years prior with positive returns of investment this time around.
As the summer progressed, we had many conversations around our infamous summer shenanigans of 2013 which lead to him becoming aware of the incurred debt from our past negligent decisions. In a stroke of surprise and a twist of karmic rebalancing, Paolo gracefully offered to reimburse me for the long-over due debt while even referencing the year of karma, insinuating that he was consciously righting the wrongs of his past injustices. As soon as we agreed upon my karmic retribution, I immediately had psychic skepticism of his sincerity but had my own ulterior motives in giving him the benefit of the doubt until his actions proved otherwise.
Throughout the summer, while I remained optimistic about potential opportunities that could arise out of my personal and professional relationship with Paolo, I was simultaneously disheartened by the blatant disrespect and advantage being taken of me in countless situations. But just as everyone else in Paolo’s orbit, I was riding the wave of personal benefits while enjoying my VIP summer experience, albeit, in the midst of utter chaos, debauchery and pure insanity. I had been gifted the prestigious title of Paolo’s ‘guardian angel’ as I continuously cleaned up his disastrous, drug-fueled daily life explosions, all the while absorbing everyone else’s toxic energy deteriorating my own health and wellbeing.
My initial skepticism of Paolo’s sincerity, with no shock to anyone was of course confirmed to be accurate but warranted a more strategic approach as legal and additional business entanglements were involved. While I was attempting to endure the disrespect and abuse to see through to my perceived finish line, the universe decided to step in and severe ties as our karmic relationship was coming to the surface to be violently purged once and for all.
The final blow unfortunately did not come as much of a surprise as his erratically deranged behavior once again exploded berating me as the perceived antagonist, followed by his wife doubling down on their mutually shared psychological abuse and toxic manipulation. And in classic addict predictability, I was quickly given a follow-up apology when reality caught up to remind him that I was of high-value to a time-sensitive project in the upcoming days that he was utterly incapable of executing himself.
However, the universe had already intervened.
Because I refused to pull the plug myself, divine interference stepped in to deliver our karmic fate to spiritually protect me from any further abuse while redirecting my path forward. Instead of throwing myself back into the burning flames of hell, I gracefully surrendered to the separation while accepting that I would be taking a massive financial loss in order to protect my peace, sanity and mental, as well as physical health that were rapidly declining. Unfortunately, when you are battling dark, demonic forces, they will not allow you to easily walk away as they thrive on the chaos, disfunction and intimidation.
So the devil sent his wife after me.
Every addict has an enabler, and in the case of Paolo, his wife was one of many who played that role, solely driven by a web of financially motivated reasons to either turn a blind eye to his addiction or, in this situation, to defend and protect him at all costs. She employed a subtle yet insidious blend of intimidation and manipulation, using threats and coercive tactics to scare me into submission. It was clear that anyone who dared challenge Paolo’s behavior would quickly find themselves caught in the wrath of their aggression, ensuring that the destructive cycle continued unchecked as long as it suited their interests. The irony was not lost in the revelation of her true character, as her fake persona as a spiritual healer—someone supposedly hosting a trauma healing retreat—stood in stark contrast to the harm she was inflicting on others. While manipulating and controlling those around her, she coyly hid behind a smile and her self-proclaimed role as a healer, despite her own alleged addictions.
Navigating through this whirlwind of tumultuous torment, we are faced with a choice: to embody the role of the victim and perpetuate the karmic loops of chaos, or to stand firm in our moral and ethical boundaries, take bold accountability, and delve deep into introspection, uncovering the spiritual lessons that are meant to teach us, heal us, and ultimately help us grow - breaking the karmic cycle and subsequently severing the associated energetic ties.
Due to the dualistic nature of reality, our moral and ethical principals will consistently be tested to gauge the strength of our boundaries and faith in the universe. We all reincarnate with our own unique lessons to learn and challenges to overcome in order to reach our highest, most aligned potential. Based on these unique soul lessons we agree to pre-incarnation, we will repeatedly be presented with challenging situations highlighting these lessons while they become more and more traumatic and debilitating until we truly learn the lesson and break the karmic cycle. A healer once told me, “you will receive the same lesson strategically disguised in better packaging until you learn the lesson” - which couldn’t be more true.
As empaths, we are inherently compassionate, often over-extending our generosity and nurturing nature to everyone we encounter - making us all the more susceptible to the curse of the narcissist, a compelling testament to our dualistic existence. However, entangled in every curse is a divinely orchestrated soul lesson offering us wisdom from a higher perspective to integrate for deeper healing and cosmic understanding. As a collective, empaths are being guided to master the sacred soul lesson of boundaries: the art of developing indestructible energetic and emotional boundaries that protect their light while reclaiming the power often surrendered and abused in narcissistic relationships. These painful connections serve as mirrors reflecting the necessity of self-sovereignty while guiding empaths to awaken their inner strength to restore universal balance and reclaim their divine power. Through mastery of these reoccurring soul lessons, we eventually transcend the karmic cycle of toxic dynamics, severe soul ties with the involved individuals and banish their presence from our simulation.
In the aftermath of ‘The Summer of Paolo’, my mind, body and soul required significant healing while I began to process the spiritual lessons imbedded in the trauma, which of course were multi-layered, symbolic and karmically entangled. Due to my inquisitive nature, curiosity often gets the best of me leading to, you guessed it - trouble. My experience with Paolo revealed the exacerbated level of disruption that can arise from my whimsical curiosity and innate tendency to ‘do it for the plot’. Mixed with my Libra curse of people pleasing to avoid confrontation and unpleasantries, my whimsical nature ironically enough leads to unpleasantries.
Through this emotionally, mentally and spiritually exhaustive summer, my karmic patterns have become glaringly obvious with a newfound determined focus on breaking the destructive cycles once and for all. As I mentioned before, the universe will test us to see how well we have learned certain lessons or if we will fall victim once again to the tumultuous trap. People from our past will reemerge in luring scenarios designed to peak our curiosity and lead us astray. But once we are aware of the patterns, we gain the discernment to avoid falling back into the rabbit hole, as we once did. What I have learned over the years is that these strategically orchestrated lessons only grow more severe, chaotic and traumatizing until we are knocked so far on our asses that we’re left with no choice but to vow never to fall victim to the same situation again. And this is why..
THE PAST STAYS IN THE PAST.
In addition to falling into the trap of nostalgia, one of my greatest soul lessons revolves around forming iron-clad boundaries while building the confidence in my self-worth to advocate for myself. While I’m constantly being tested on maintaining my boundaries, this summer served as a powerful reminder of how crucial it is to stand firm in what’s best for me - and neglecting to do so only leads to deeper trauma and chaos. I consistently allowed myself to be taken advantage of out of fear of losing money and opportunities, and of course, the confidence to confront unpleasant and uncomfortable situations (typical Libra). But it’s through these uncomfortable situations - and the internal security that comes from risking everything - that we find our power and truly align with our most authentic selves and highest potential.
There is an inherent fear we all face when learning to enforce necessary boundaries, but what helps me confront this fear is the understanding that if my boundaries are met with resistance or aggression, it’s a clear indicator that the person or situation is not aligned with me - and their reaction reveals everything I need to know. When higher stakes are involved, it’s easier said than done to walk away from a situation that doesn’t serve us. Maybe a job is on the line or some other foundational aspect of survival, making it all the more difficult to see solutions and feel confident in maintaining strong boundaries.
But we must be willing to risk it all, in order to have it all.
If we experience tower moments where everything falls apart, it’s because what’s falling away is no longer meant for us, and the universe is intervening to rearrange our reality for our highest good.
While these are tangible steps we can take in the physical world to enforce our boundaries and begin steering our 3D reality in a more positive direction, we must also consider the spiritual side of the equation, energetically removing the attachments, beliefs, or patterns that no longer serve us. There are many ways to address this through spiritual reprogramming, and often times, the situation that nearly broke us to anchor in the soul lesson is tied to a soul contract that requires deeper introspection and healing in order to fully evolve.
As I began to dive deeper into the spiritual implications around my ill-fated karmic summer with Paolo, I was confronted with traumatic visions of parallel alternate realities of our original summer of sin. In one vision, I witnessed him overdosing in our Ibiza hotel as I frantically screamed for help while trying to rescue him, unfortunately to no avail. The second vision was my own tragic passing in a high-speed car crash, careening through the narrow streets of Milan at the mercy of Paolo’s erratic and reckless driving, with no control over the fate that awaited us. But these visions weren’t just random; they were a vivid manifestation of the fears we both carried that summer - fears he later confirmed when he admitted he had been intentionally trying to overdose, while I harbored a deep fear of dying at the hands of his reckless behavior.
The vision I experienced during meditation revealed the deep toxicity of our connection, with the same destructive patterns resurfacing eleven years later, as if the universe had orchestrated their return poetically in the year of karma. It served as a visceral reminder of the stakes involved, both physically and spiritually, when you allow yourself to stay in such an entangled toxic connection. It became clear that our paths were not merely coincidental, but intertwined by fate for a purpose greater than either of us could initially comprehend. It was as though we were mirrors reflecting each other's shadows, amplifying the unhealed parts of ourselves that desperately needed to be addressed and healed.
Working in the Akashic Records to dissolve soul contracts and sever energetic cords has been one of the most profound spiritual tools in my ever-evolving healing journey. During this particularly vivid meditation, I was shown the full depth of our karmic connection, and I was able to burn the contract that bound us together subsequently freeing myself from the infinite chaos.
Through the shadows of pain, we are guided to the greater soul purpose of liberation. The intensity of this connection served as a catalyst, shattering illusions and forcing deep introspection. Only by surviving the chaos was I able to reclaim my worth, embrace my power, and break free from a cycle that nearly destroyed me once again. From the wreckage of the karmic storm, I emerged with newfound strength and clarity, aligned with my truth and wholeheartedly focused on creating a life of authenticity, peace and power.
My healing adventure further expanded through this integration and eventually lead me to even deeper introspection, allowing me to make peace with my wildly unpredictable island of magic and karmic entanglements. It was officially…